Cult Leader Olympics

August 27, 2012

Our first mission update is now live. The great leader in his wisdom is in no way exploiting the bandwagon of the Olympics and it just so happens that the intercontinental Cultural Olympiad Is running over the next few weeks.  We have loads of missions about the Olympics and Para-Olympics running over the next few weeks with celebrity cult members like Bradley Wiggins, Michael Phelps,  as well as missions about Corporate sponsor ship, Ticket touts, empty seats, G4S security, dressage, Badminton shambles, Para-Olympic ringers, and Revealing Rowers’ Unitards.

Cult Activities do not simply stop because there are some sports on either with David Bowie, James Murdoch and Rupert Murdoch all in the sights of the Leader as possible recruits.

Part of our beta process is making sure that the update process runs as smoothly as possible so regular updates like the Intercontinental Cult Olympiad are possible. Be part of the Cultural  Olympiad and Get gold for the Leader.


Meet the Inner Sanctum

June 1, 2012

The shadowy inner sanctum answers to no one but yourself. Made up of your most influential cult members these individuals are both masters of manipulation and information control. They can singlehandedly solve public image problems, and their shadowy contacts mean that you can worry less about those bad headlines and get on with running your cult.

Inner Sanctum Powers

Intimidating Presence:

The Inner sanctum member uses their shadowy presence to intimidate a cult member give them a bonus to their obedience.


Public Influence:

The cult member uses their influence over the outside world to raise public opinion in your favour.


Shadowy Meeting:

2 or more Inner Sanctum members meet to increase 1 randomly selected stat globally for 24 hours. The number of Inner Sanctum members determines the type and amount of increase.

Meet the Zealot

May 31, 2012

Meet the Zealot

Bullied as a child, the Zealot decided that enough was enough. They crave any power they can curtail from those around them. You can easily use it to your advantage, just don’t call them poopy pants.


Zealot abilities

Unquestioning Obedience

Any action the targeted cult member performs for the next 12 hours costs no Obedience.



The Zealot examines the targeted cult member for any weakness. The targeted cult member’s Obedience and Tithe are reset to standard values.


Meet the Bishop

May 30, 2012

Meet The Bishop

Once an aspiring politician, until shamed through a very public scandal, the Bishop retreated from public life and struggled both drink and depression until they happened to stumble upon one of your “Support Groups”. Their ability to twist words and have no regard for the truth makes them an extremely powerful cult member capable of mass manipulation.

Bishop Powers



The Bishop grants a blessing to a follower increasing their brainwashing significantly.


Collection Plate:

The Bishop tries to raise money for your cause causing the targeted cult member to immediately regenerate their Tithe.


Guilt Trip:

The bishop manipulates the targeted cult member into believing they must feel guilty for even the smallest action, increasing their brainwashing significantly.




We have been featured in an article on News does travel fast in this modern age. Please peruse the article at your leisure and take note of the exclusive concept art.

The Cult Leader

February 22, 2012

Captain’s Log

I had spent almost four weeks in confinement before they opened the door to my cell. I was weary, both in body and in mind, when rough hands forcibly lifted me from my cot and dragged me in to the sunlight. I observed that my prison had been simply around the rear of the building; the building which seemed so welcoming about month ago.  Although overjoyed to see the sun once again, I was shocked to see that the familiar hooded figures lined the path in front of me, with an ominous chanting bellowing from beneath their dark cowls. 




Too weak to resist, I was hauled before their leader – a robed man dressed only in white – he spoke in a hypnotically calm, soothing voice, as though he was partial to some greater knowledge . After offering me nourishment, which was well received, he began explaining to me that I was lost and that I had no hope of enjoying the afterlife if I did not renounce my wicked ways. At that point – starved as I was – everything he suggested seemed plausible, and his manner so friendly, that I accepted all his claims of omnipotence and power.



My brief taste of food was over too quickly. Some more burley escorts returned to man handle me to my new quarters. I was to be sharing with at least twenty other individuals in a large dormitory with hard beds and poor lighting. I recognised some of the individuals from the group earlier observed outside the compound. I presumed they had suffered the same treatment as me. My eyes turned to the decoration along the walls. Amongst pictures of the individual referred to as “the Leader”, there were several posters of famous individuals all claiming that the church of Leaderology had changed their lives.


 I wondered what had happened to my clothing and belongings as I attempted to make myself comfortable and prepare myself for what was to come.



Ladies and Gentlemen,

We at Two Monocle Games are very excited to announce our upcoming comedy title Cult Leader.

Play the part of the mysterious and charismatic cult leader as you indoctrinate your friends and relatives. Control your member’s through Brainwashing and build your own army of unquestioning zealots. Send your followers on missions to recruit celebrities, kidnap pandas and even destroy the moon.




Cult leader should be hitting your Facebook walls in a couple of months.






Dexter’s log, Dec 24th:
In the holiday spirit the captain raised the rum rations, truly it is the most magical of seasons!

Dexter’s log, Dec 26th:
Expended my rum rations!
Captain’s unusually late in returning.
For the purpose of maintaining consistency in record keeping I have taken it upon myself to consume the captain rum rations.

Dexter’s log, Jan 1st:
Head pounding, rum depleted, captain missing, communication stilted, sleep imminen…

Dexter’s log, Jan 20th:

All available rum consumed, must petition captain to requisition some more. Captain has been away now for three weeks, remaining liquor has almost been consumed. Starting to worry.

Dexter’s log, Jan 30th:

Am organising a search party to locate the Captain. Gavin, Donna and Rehana will go ashore while I “guard” the remaining alcohol.






Captain’s Log

After the dramatic but successful rescue of Gavin from Skull Island, the crew have been in high spirits. As holidays approached, although we still had work to do, I doubled the rum ration for all crew; although I think our Scottish members required more. As we approached our next location, a bustling port town on Grogg Island, we were determined to find a soft bed and warm bath. Unfortunately as the crew relaxed, an ill wind blew upon the air; little did I know what awaited us.

We had been sailing for a fortnight, stopping at various small island inns, before pulling in to Grogg Island. As the crew went their separate ways to spend their much deserved pay I spent some time on the dock regaining my land legs and ensuring everything was in order with the harbour master – I oft’ find a brief chat with the harbour master is a good way of establishing accounts of any rumours within island towns, and an opportunity to ensure financial motivation towards the safe custody of our ship.

 It seemed tha religious order has sprung up around the local islands claiming to have all the answers to any or all essential philosophical questions of today. Being a man of science and reason I am extremely suspicious of any claim of omnipotent knowledge I resolved to investigate further. 

The next morning I awoke to a loud banging on my Inn door, dragging my aching head from its final resting place i dragged open the door to see two psychotically happy individuals in dingy robes, smilling at me in a way that suggested they were used to having door shaped objects violently slammed in their faces.

“We are from the Church of Leaderology and we are here to help you accept the leader in to your heart.”

“I am fine thank you”

“Very well brother we shall leave you, but please accept some of our literature” he forced a pamphlet in to my hand as i started shutting the door. I heard them move away and i went back to my re-cooperation.

 Upon my perceived return to the human species I decided to examine the literature the strange robed fellows had bestowed upon me. Some illustrations and articles desribing the work that the Leader does for the destitute and desperate. However something triggered my curiosity I decided to spend my remaining day discovering more about this supposedly amazing fledgling religion. There was an address at the back of the pamphlet.

6331 Holywooed road, Los An-Jellos

I quickly got dressed and hurried out the door and in to the street, this new religion was expanding rapidly. I now noticed there were several posters all referring to this mysterious “Leader” and his seemingly amazing powers. Upon reaching the address in the pamphlet it quickly realised this was no place of worship. Large walls surrounded a compound as small group of people stood outside a high iron gate.


I observed the group for a while and they seemed to come from a eclectic mix of sociable backgrounds each seemed preoccupied with their own thoughts. I did over hear snatches of conversation about a range of topics from astrology to dowsing. My immediate observations were cut short by the opening of the ominously large gate. The sheepish individuals slowly sidled inside and noticing my chance for further investigation I joined the meandering persons.


My heart sank as I heard the large gate swing shut behind me but I was determined to observe the inner workings of this strange group. We walked en-mass until we reach a surprisingly relaxing building it’s warm friendly and relaxed atmosphere put me at ease. A murmur of satisfaction seemed to ripple through the group as we slowly filed inside. We were greeted by a room full of people all cheering and happy to see us. Festive decorations adorned the wall while the headey smell of incense and mulled wine assailed my nostrils. I decided to risk a nip of the fragrant wine no more had the heady brew touched my lips than the room began to spin and my mind fell to darkness.


I awoke within the confines of a small cell and judging by the passage of the sun i had been unconcious for the last few hours I tried to get comfy and wait for my captours to show themselves. I wondered how long it would be before my loyal and dedicated crew noticed my absence and organised a rescue party.



Captain of the good ship Two Monocles.








Captain’s Log


This week has been filled with the strangest happenings to beset our expedition.


The week started easily, and we were just about to break camp when a rustling in the undergrowth alerted us to a presence that was not of our party. Upon further investigation, Rehana caught a brief glimpse of a hooded figure disappearing in to the undergrowth. We were excited, as this was the first sign of human life we had encountered on our expedition thus far; alas we may have been a little hasty to greet the individual. We tried to locate the mysterious islander to no avail. Despite the small size of this sandy island the gentleman had vanished! We dejectedly broke up the rest of the camp and made our way back to the good ship Two Monocles and prepared her for the high tide.


As the evening’s high tide broke, we charted a path to our next destination: the foreboding Skull Island (however, I personally hold the opinion that the island more closely resembled a duck). Donna swore she could hear noises of chanting upon the wind, but as the anchor dropped the chanting ceased, and all that remained were the waves slapping against the hull. We waited until morning to go ashore with our equipment and supplies. Gavin scouted out a small clearing where we could build a hut. We also erected a small fence to deter local wildlife.


I feel that it is necessary to mention the group of ominous standing stones we found dotted along the coast line, they were certainly not natural occurrences – they were most definitely alien to the island. I can still recall the dreadful feeling as I near’d to them, as if an evil magick was once done at that spot. Mysterious indeed!

We took a repast of wine, wild berries and a large wheel o’ cheese before retiring for the night. Thoughts of our mysterious visitor, the strange chanting and alien rocks, accompanied with the wheel of cheese, provided us all with vivid and strange nightmares of mysterious gatherings and occultist rituals. I was assailed by a terrorful nightmare in which I was running through jam from a giant duck wearing a fez. I had disturbed dreams that lasted for three moons.


I did not forecast that our already unnerving visit to Skull Island would become still more mysterious, the discovery that Gavin had went missing during the night sent our heads reeling with disturbed thoughts. Observing footprints in the sand, we deduced that he must have been dragged into the night by at least three men, and a Newfoundland dog. We tracked the footprints as far as we could but we soon lost the trail.  Gavin’s departure was a terrible blow for the expedition, however remembering that the island was not a large one, we decided to organise a regimented search party, and for at least one crew member to remain on watch during the night.


We made a decision to map the island and deploy some of Donna’s finished automatons to help in the search. To this end Dexter had produced some mapping equipment which enabled us to visualise the island from an aerial perspective, he christened the device the “Eye-Sew-Metric Steam Engine”. Using natural resources and household objects, Rehana was able to construct recording and broadcasting sound equipment to allow easier communication and feedback to operators. With these devices we were thus able to capture some of the local dialects.


Even though the crew found themselves in a flurry of activity, coping with the absence of one of our valued companions, Dexter kept faithful watch yet. I must now remark upon one of the nights I was on watch. I was sitting comfortably with my pipe and my favourite volume by Captain George North, when I once again heard the chants. For this adventure there was no X to mark our destiny.


During one of our periodic night-search expeditions, we were negotiating the thick jungle when suddenly our ears were blitzed with a loud chorus of chanting. We quickly extinguished our torches and crept forward to survey a cavernous volcanic chamber with roughly seventy robed figures facing an elevated natural alter.  At last! There he was, centred on the platform, the haggard form of Gavin.  Our wretched friend appeared to be supporting himself on the bars of the cage he was contained in. An individual in extravagant robes accompanied by a female – perhaps the cloaked man’s surly daughter – lead the chanting in some strange language. Utilising Rehana’s audio relay installed on the nearest automaton we managed to decipher their chansons, thus:


Oh mighty stone of Duck, allow these two to ….wed

Protect them mighty rock, so she may get some …happiness”



We learned that Gavin had been kidnapped for the purpose of being forcibly married to the tribal chief’s daughter. Quickly resolving to save our friend from his betrothal, Rehana, Dexter, Donna and myself crept forward to the nearest hooded individuals and relived each of them of their consciousness and robes. Disguising ourselves as tribe members we slowly advanced towards the raised platform. Just at that moment the translating automaton sensing our distance decided to raise the volume of his broadcast, echoing the awful poetry back upon the tribe. Screams of alarm echoed through the cavern as the tribe enraged. The automaton continued to translate the barrage of expletives being hurled at it by the mob until its audio unit received a particularly powerful blow and ceased to function. Taking full advantage of this distraction we rapidly freed Gavin from the confines of his cage and followed him to an alternative exit. Fleeing back to camp pursued by angry tribesmen, we quickly rounded up all the equipment we could carry and made our way to the dinghy.


We boarded the Two Monocles at once and travelled with great haste from “Skull” Island, while Gavin recounted the events that beset him over the last few days.  The chief of the Crytecochtitlan tribe spotted us through the trees making camp on Doubloon Island. He was the man running away from us then! In Crytecochtitlean culture, the wearing of tall round head dresses signifies rank and power, and Gavin’s top hat made them believe him the ultimate prize for the chief’s daughter. Upon discovering we had arrived on their island, they seized the chance and spiked the goblet from which he was drinking port, and dragged him through the forest until they arrived at Skull Rock. After a life-threatening umbrella ride down the cliffside, they entered the tribe’s domain, where he was caged and subjected to a barrage of questions mainly involving the loss of his hat. It was fortuitous that we turned up when we did.

For now on we will search for more hospitable island to continue our investigations and experiments.


I am hoping this coming week is a quieter one.



B.S.C    S.S.C

Captain of the good ship Two Monocle Games.